Tear

Today, I have a tear coming down my face.

A tear I have for a while tried to resist to...
A tear which insists in being present in spite of not being invited.
A tear I have for so long avoided.

A tear I knew would make its debut when least expected.
And today, with the news I knew I would get someday, came down this tear of mine.

It came down my face, strong and confident as it was always there, bursting to fall.

One cannot avoid what has always been there.
I cannot avoid the feeling as hard as I try to erase it, to believe it never existed.
I cannot pretend it was only a dream and never really happened.
It just does not work that way.

We cannot ignore what is there no matter how hard we try.
It will always come up...or down, as tears do.

I have still a long way to where I want to be...but maybe this time I will realise that in order for tears to cease, I too will have to change.
Past events are not what makes us.
Past events are only there to teach us, to lead us where we deserve to be someday and maybe tears are there to wash away all the pain, abandonment, fear, broken dreams.

Maybe my tear is there to clear the fog,
To show me the path while pushing me down the deep end, without fear, without second thoughts - just letting myself go.

My tear might have its right of presence after all.
But enough.
Enough now!
For what will make me alive, will not make me cry!!!